Grief Altar

A space to open to grief

Come and grieve.

Grief Altar is a virtual space and ritual held monthly for people to come and grieve at the altar. It’s an open invitation where a space is held specifically for you to meet your grief in whatever way you feel called.

The focus of the ritual will be an activated grief altar. We will explore ways to bring our grief to the altar, open the grief pathways together, and then have time to be with the altar. We will come back together to integrate and close.

Often times we feel alone in our grief. We need extra support and resource to allow it to move. We lack a dedicated space that we can go to surrender into the medicine grief has to offer.

This is that space. Held just for you.

The Grief Altar Community Grief Ritual will be held virtually on April 19th, 2025 from 10am - 1pm pdt. This space is offered as a gift, at no cost. Register below and more detailed information will be emailed to you.

Grief Altar virtual grieving space and ritual is offered and held by Mikyö Black-Wangmo, through Subrosa Santo.

Mikyö lives their life in devotion to holding and tending grief medicine as a pathway to freedom and Essence. 

As a facilitator, educator, death doula, and somatic practitioner Mikyö brings deeply cultivated presence in service to the empowerment of those they work with. They are a student of the Elements and Natural world, their indigenous mexican and more than human Ancestors, of Grief and Death, and of their esoteric teachers and lineages. 

Their positionality as a queer, 2 spirit, indigenous PoC, transracial adoptee allows them the privilege to exist and work outside of and beyond the systems of oppression we all live in and are affected by. Mikyö is dedicated to becoming more and more joyfully alive and free in service to love and life, and in supporting others to do the same. 

Relating with the Grief Altar

The Grief Altar is an activated, alive altar dedicated to holding space for and receiving grief.

The aliveness of the Grief Altar comes from it being an active portal to your connection with a higher force. This higher force could be Life, Great Mother, Great Mystery, Creator, God, the Divine, a Deity/Deities, your Higher Self, however you relate with something Greater. As we speak about in Community Grief Ritual, the altar is like the hungry mouth of the Dark Mother. Your grief is returning to the heart of creation to be composted nourishment that feeds the web of Life.

This way of approaching the Grief Altar creates a new neural pathway in your psyche that tells your soft animal body nervous system that you are not separate and alone in your grief. You get to open to the lived experience of presence and resourcefulness in the face of the unbearable.

On a practical level, here is a general idea of the flow of our time together:

  • Opening and Introductions

  • Somatic Meditation ~ Grounding

  • Song

  • Exploring Grief Altar Practices

  • Circle share

  • Triads

  • Grief Ritual with Altar

  • Integration and Closing

Preparations

To be with our grief at the altar requires our full presence and attention. Ideally we would be somewhere we could be uninhibited, though that may not always be possible when we are together virtually.

In order to make the most of out of our time together please prepare the following:

Space

  • Have a private space you can attend from where you won’t be interrupted

  • Be somewhere you can express uninhibitedly during the ritaul: sounding, wailing, crying, moaning, etc.

  • Clear your space ahead of time. Clean up a bit, make it feel inviting and welcoming. Somewhere you feel comfortable and relaxed.

  • Remove your cellphone and other distractions from the space. If it has to be in there because you are a caretaker and need to be reachable, keep it out of sight.

Ritual Items and Other Preparation

  • Altar

    • altar cloth

    • candle

    • small bowl of water

    • stone or small bowl of soil (optional)

    • incense or resin (optional)

    • flowers or plant kin from your ecosystem (optional)

    • any other altar items that help you feel resourced, held, and belonging

  • Few pinches of ash (can be from fireplace or any fire)

  • Journal and pen/pencil

  • One of your favorite foods or drinks

  • Wear comfortable clothing and have a blanket or whatever you need to feel cozy

  • Have plenty of drinking water accessible